Authentic Living
My husband Victor and I have been involved for a while now with a charity for married couples, Marriage Encounter, and are learning to communicate on a deeper level - challenging for both of us, for different reasons. Vic is an introvert who won’t speak unless he feels he has something useful to say and has thought through the issue at hand in depth… whereas I am inclined to think ‘out loud’ before I have fully formed an opinion on things: talking through the issue helps clarify it for me.
We are very different and bringing who we are into the relationship, there can be communication mismatches. I have learned to tell him that I’m thinking out loud before I get started, so he doesn’t feel the need to act or respond immediately. He is learning to share his feelings and tell me what’s occupying his mind, rather than brooding in silence.
These differences apply not only to how we communicate with each other, but also to how we connect with God.
Vic will sit before God, quietly, just being in God’s presence. Me, I aspire to this level of zen, but my personality is different and God not only knows it, but I believe He cherishes the differences because he made those. When I pray, I often don’t even know what I’m going to pray about until I’ve talked for a bit and it’s almost like I’m finding out my deepest concerns as they come out of my mouth!
The point is, God made us different and unique in many ways, from hair colour to fingerprints to personalities… we are the same in that we are all unique! And it is all delightful to Him. I have two children who could not be more different - even down to what they like to eat, if one likes something then it’s a safe bet to wager that the other doesn’t. And yet, each of them is an absolute delight to me! Different doesn’t mean better or worse, just uniquely made in God’s image. So let’s live fully into that, not wishing we were like someone else but embracing the way God created us. As a wise person once said: be yourself, everyone else is already taken.
