I am a ……

What am I?

Slightly to my surprise I’ve found myself watching the popular reality game The Traitors. I’d avoided it so far feeling nervous of its theme of deception, lies, betrayal and secret dark acts. But a friend was keen to watch it so Marilyn and I gave it a go.

I must confess that I am finding it intriguing and illuminating. The drama hinges on the fact that out of a large group of strangers, 3 of them have been secretly selected to be Traitors. Their role is to murder (eliminate) the rest of the group, called Faithfuls. They also need to hide their real ‘Traitor’ identity so as to avoid being discovered and banished by the Faithfuls.

A complex game? Yes indeed and quite dark at times. But the Lord is speaking to me through it. There is so much suspicion about each other’s motives and true identities. The Traitors have to pretend to be Faithfuls, but their role is to betray and destroy, so as to keep hidden and ultimately win the prize. Sometimes in the voting one person influences another to vote in a certain way. Herd instinct kicks in, leading the group majority to focus on one person and vote them out.

It reminds me of how when Jesus was arrested, Roman soldiers influenced the crowds to shout for Jesus to be crucified. From love and worship of Jesus , they were swayed destructively to have him killed.

Do I do that too? Go with the crowd and hide my heart? How do I look upon those around me? Is it with a deep suspicion of others’ agendas and motives or will I let my ‘seeing’ of others be full of God’s kindness and compassion, like Jesus?

Conversely, am I too trusting? Too ready to believe that everyone is speaking the full truth all the time? Do I need to grow in my ability to be shrewd and discerning as well as kind and compassionate?

In the game, when a player has received the most votes each evening they are instantly banished. They have to declare before the group their motivation for playing, followed by the declaration, ‘I am a Traitor’ or ‘I am a Faithful.’ I was struck that they had to clearly know their own identity and be willing to shout it out and stand on it. It’s made me think, how willing am I to make known who I am and what I stand for, in public? Often I simply try to be nice, a gentle person showing those around me that Jesus loves them. But underneath I feel negative about my own identity and mistrust myself as God’s beloved daughter.

In the game there is a longing for people to truly be what they say they are, Faithful. I sense God’s longing that I let myself become a truly genuine person, living who I am without fear. In Matthew 3 we see how Father God declared for all to hear, that Jesus was his beloved Son who brought him delight. That truth became Jesus’ foundation stone from then on. Will I let it be mine too?

The Traitors is just a game show but it has some powerful truths running through it about our true motives, our paranoias, ambitions and trust or lack of. Like in the show, we have a very real enemy who is constantly trying to make us believe lies about ourselves and others. Who do I align myself with in my life? Whose words do I believe?

Am I a ….Faithful? Will I live as what I am?

Deep thoughts from a programme I never thought I’d watch!